I was pulling out of the garage on my way to work, taking the boys to school, when I hear this voice from the back seat say, ”Papa, why were we adopted?” Kids have the strangest sense of timing. They always seem to ask the toughest questions at the most inopportune time!
Then there’s discerning what question is really being asked? Are they asking “WHY were we adopted?” That why question, what was the reason for their adoption. Are they really wanting to know, “why were WE adopted?” Why me and not someone else, or why me and not my birth siblings? Or is it more a question about “why were we ADOPTED?” What is adoption and what does it mean? Why am I different than my friends at school? All of this while you are trying to do something else and not really sure what to say.
I’m glad I could acknowledge their question and say we would get out their Lifebooks and talk about it. Then I ask, “What do you want to know?” I don’t always have all the answers for them, and they are asking more and different questions as they are growing older and processing the information in deeper ways. Having the lifebooks done and having read them over and over to the boys does give a point of reference and a jumping off point when they want to talk. What questions have you been asked by your child lately?